How do you think I felt?

How do you think I felt
When my father let me down?
I felt so alone
I wanted to drown.

How do you think I felt
When I fell in love in high school with this he?
I knew it was impossible
That he could love me.

How do you think I felt
When I truly fell in love with that he?
I was floating on air
It was so amazing.

How do you think I felt
When Ryan didn't notice me?
I was hurt
It was plain to see.

How do you think I felt
On Valentine's Day?
When he spent it with someone else
It still wasn't okay.

How do you think I felt
All those lonely nights?
When I would cry for hours
With no end in sight.

How do you think I felt
When I kept hearing that he didn't love me at all?
I was lovesick in every sense of the word
My friends I would call.

How do you think I felt
When communication was cut off?
I realized something
And then I became tough.

How do you think I felt
When Alex, someone new, came in the picture?
I thought I knew then
That this one was for sure.

How do you think I felt
When Alex told me the God-awful truth?
That he didn't want to talk to me anymore
That he played me for a fool.

How do you think I felt
When he then sent me threatening emails?
I was scared out of my mind
Since then my self-worth declined in detail.

How do you think I felt
When I saw a handsome man at a wedding?
Dancing with my cousin
The one that he married.

I realize now
That I was silly, wrong, and damaged,
But the feelings that made me this way
I've never fully recovered.