How do you think I felt
On that wedding night?
When the bride didn't come to my table
Tears and rage I had to fight.
How do you think I felt
When every person my age had someone to dance with?
I felt like an outcast, but
I didn't let it slip.
How do you think I felt
When I had to leave my cousin on her special night?
For another 2 years or more
I didn't feel right.
How do you think I felt
When I told my mom how I feel?
She said: "How can I miss her?"
It made me want to lose my meal.
How do you think I felt
When I started screaming and crying?
I knew in my heart of hearts
I'm still going to keep on trying.
How do you think I feel
When my little cousins disrespect me?
It makes me want to cry
The tears that I don't let anyone know or see.
How do you think I felt
When I had a dream about my aunt?
She told me she stopped loving me
After my words took over and snapped.
How do you think I feel
When my aunt states that I disrespect my mom?
It was such an insult
How could I be calm?
How do you think I feel
When I think I'm not good enough for anyone or anything?
I've always been here
I've never taken wing.
How do you think I feel
When I'm being compared to other guys?
It makes me feel inadequate, insecure, and unsure
I'm not telling lies.
How do you think I feel
When I see two guys kissing on screen?
It makes me envious
It's not that I'm mean.
How do you think I felt
On this Valentine's Day?
When all my girlfriends had a significant other
It's harder for me to find someone because I'm gay.
How do you think I felt
When she took out her frustrations on me?
I wanted to take away her pain
A fact she chose not to see.
How do you think I felt
When she revealed the hurt my dad continues to cause her?
I will never forgive that bastard
Who did us dishonour.
How do you think I feel
Around my aunt who doesn't support my decisions?
She thinks of me as Superman
I feel like my throat is constricted.
How do you think I felt
When I complimented my cousin on her creativity?
She gave me a nasty look
I didn't take it lightly.
How do you think I felt
When yesterday I was looked at as if I was ancient?
The music, the movies, and the shows
I believe that their disrespect was deliberate.
How do you think I felt
When I let my cousins have it (with my words and not anything else)?
I told them they treat me like crap
A remark that I don't regret one bit.
These feelings that I have now
May have not necessarily bothered me before
But ever since my cousin Jennifer's wedding reception,
It makes me want to spend time with her more.
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1 comment:
Franco - this is a nice add on to compliment the other half of your poem. I like how you used repetition to convey your thoughts.
I'm sorry we haven't gotten the chance to talk too much lately. I've been getting home much later in the evening, and by the time I get everything I need done for the following day, it's too late to call. I'm really sorry if it sounded as if I blew you off. That wasn't my intention, and I hope you understand. Crunch time is coming, and I feel as if I'm already in the crunch. The rest of this weekend is not going to be fun!!!
I'll talk to you later!
M
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